Guaranteeing The Second Date
Posted by Pam Baldwin on May 6th, 2008
Initially your goal shouldn’t be to get a second date. It should be to get to know the other person and then decide if you even want a second date. If your date has an agreeable personality then they are probably going to want a second date anyway.
If, on the other hand, you have been set up with this person through one of the numerous dating sites online then this is actually your “second date.” On these sites they match people up based on your personalities and allow you to get to know each other in an informal setting. Getting to the second date is very similar in how you get to the first date with the person you met online.
The number one trick to getting to second date is just being yourself. Being calm allows your date to get to know the real you. If you are nervous and stammering that’s not the real you and could spoil your chance for a second date. Be self confident is an extremely attractive quality to other people and makes other people want to be around you. Your date should be able to know you as your close friends know you.
True confidence comes with experience and success. It’s sort of paradoxical that you have to succeed before you can really succeed, but you can always do the actor’s favorite trick: fake it until you make it. Work on projecting an air of confidence and holding in self-destructive things like “I boiled my last boyfriend’s bunny.” But don’t cross the line into prat or schmuck.
That’s normal, now here’s likeable. Embrace your imperfections, accept them rather than defend them. Don’t display them, but, rather, if they show up, smile and acknowledge it with a little humor to show you know it’s unusual. If the other person won’t accept that, you probably don’t really want another date with them.
Don’t worry if there isn’t a strong emotional connection right away. They take time to develop, especially if you want one that lasts. However, if you have similar senses of humor, think similarly, and make eye contact easily then you have the start of a good emotional connection.
Ending the evening at the high point is crucial in getting the second date. This leaves your date wanting to spend more time with you. That right there is the true key to getting the second date.
Don’t be so afraid of making a mistake that you make up lame excuses to leave when it’s going good either. This can make you seem uninterested. Set a time limit for your date and stick to it. If it’s going extraordinarily well then stick with it as long as you can.