Can Online Dating Actually Succeed?
Posted by Pam Baldwin on June 9th, 2008
Yes, they can. Unfortunately, you have to put a lot of effort into finding the right person, just like you would when doing other things. But, there is a plus side. Many times, people find that dating online through a service can be more easily and safely done than meeting a person somewhere else. A person can find out if the person is who they say they are. The actual experience is very different depending on what sex you are, though.
Women tend to ask themselves if online dating through a service actually works and how to actually find the right person. So, I’ll tell you how it is. You are bound to get tons of messages from all sorts of guys. The key to keep them interested is to answer those that interest you and act normal. No going completely crazy that the guy is scared off by you.
So once you make contact, feel free to ask for his number or to meet in real life, especially if it seems that he’s dragging his feet doing so. What’s the worst that could come of it? He doesn’t like it and you move on to the numerous others you have waiting to talk with you.
Now for your profile: Unless you’re fairly average looking but like to be told you’re pretty, post a kind of small and grainy picture or don’t post one at all. Guys will still send you messages, but will spend more time getting to know your personality.
And what should the profile say? Show some of what makes you tick, but definitely don’t overdo it. No excessively long, tedious, or too involved messages that having pictures of your extended family and all the pets you’ve had. That’s too over the top. Let him work to figure out who you are, because they feel more at ease doing it anyway. Besides, you can protect yourself from the crazy stalkers or people who want to become you later on.
And for all you guys, you have to ask yourself if these services for online dating actually works. It is much easier to jot off one, two, or twenty emails to start talking with somebody instead of meeting some random person on the street. They will still be hard at times even though they are online conversations. You still have to make that move.
Here’s what you want your profile to look like to make things easier: write it like you expect her to read it after you’ve already contacted her. Don’t sell yourself in your profile and try to get her to talk to you, share a few things about who you are. Things that make it seem there’s more to you than the brief(!!). first message. And post a couple pictures. One that shows you having fun and doing something you love to do and another that shows you comfortable among your peers.
So do online dating services really work? They can if you do the right things in the right way. It’s different though, conversations that would take minutes in the real world may take weeks online, but you can also get comfortable with someone in no time at all before ever meeting them.